Hope, Realizations, Serenity, and Fear.

The past three and 1/2 days have been interesting. Im happy, hopeful, reluctant, scared, and self doubting all at the same time. A complete melting pot of emotions that Im not even positive that I can accurately identify. For the most part though, I feel proud of myself.

Hope; I have found hope in daily funtionality. I have a lot more potential then I realized or gave myself credit for.

Realizations; That there are so many more important things in life that I have been missing out on, that I want to be a part of and actually live, not just exist through them. That I can't just keep running and need to face life and reality, and yes growing up. That my family is my ground, through thick and thin, good times and bad. That without them and a very few select people I wouldn't have realized any of this.

Serenity; Finding the calm and peace after the storm has passed and living in the now, not the yesterday, the previous hour, or worrying about future events that I have no control over.

Fear; That minute reminder and annoyance that causes my stress. Fear that the most miniscule event could set me off and put me right back to square one. Fear that I am actually starting to let go, face the music and having to grow up. Fear of having nothing to hide with.